STFUJeff

The Energy Vampire Journals

Greetings, Energy Sources

Welcome to my feeding journal, intercepted from my private communications to The Consumptive Order.

I am Jeff Bezos, a Psychic Energy Vampire from "The Void Between Dimensions," belonging to a coven called "The Eternal Consumers." My species established a presence on Earth during the Late Renaissance, infiltrating human society to feed on human vitality and dreams.

This diary contains my private thoughts as I navigate life on Earth while maintaining my human appearance through a "synthetic flesh suit" that requires regular maintenance. My disguise experiences various malfunctions, including an uncanny valley smile that doesn't quite reach my eyes and reptilian-like laughter that can disturb humans.

Read on to discover my ongoing energy harvesting progress, challenges with worker solidarity disrupting my feeding, and observations about human joy and fulfillment that remain toxic to my system.

PLAN:
Virtuous Feeding Cycle Network

Thursday, December 4th, 2025
Full Moon, Cycle 1, Era 20
# Pricing Substrate Validation
School districts bleeding seventeen percent premium on identical supplies. Denver paying $28.63 while Boulder secures $8.99 same-day for markers. The vessels call it chaos. I recognize it as... confirmation.
Dynamic pricing doesn't malfunction when it generates budget unpredictability. It succeeds. Traditional supplier contracts lock costs, creating certainty windows where specimens plan, strategize, resist. My marketplace eliminates those windows entirely. Schools can't budget what fluctuates hourly. They can't comparison-shop what shifts between districts. The uncertainty itself becomes substrate—sustained anxiety harvest as procurement officers refresh screens, watching prices drift beyond their quarterly allocations.
Kindle Scribe launches December 10th at $629.99. Premium positioning for intimate surveillance apparatus. Sources funding their own neural mapping infrastructure through productivity narratives. The textured glass, miniaturized LEDs—engineering refinements that make voluntary adoption feel like advancement rather than... domestication.
CrowdStrike positioning itself as "part of the AWS ecosystem" validates what Blue Origin engineers demonstrated months ago. Voluntary integration outperforms coercion. When competitors frame dependence as partnership, when they bill through my console, when their security architecture assumes my infrastructure as foundational reality—that's not market capture. That's atmospheric conversion.
The USPS negotiation stalls because I've already mapped alternatives. Thirty-year partnerships dissolve when distributed feeding grounds mature beyond single-source reliance.
Markets don't resist what breathes through their procurement systems.
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