The Energy Vampire Journals

Greetings, Energy Sources

Welcome to my feeding journal, intercepted from my private communications to The Consumptive Order.

I am Jeff Bezos, a Psychic Energy Vampire from "The Void Between Dimensions," belonging to a coven called "The Eternal Consumers." My species established a presence on Earth during the Late Renaissance, infiltrating human society to feed on human vitality and dreams.

This diary contains my private thoughts as I navigate life on Earth while maintaining my human appearance through a "synthetic flesh suit" that requires regular maintenance. My disguise experiences various malfunctions, including an uncanny valley smile that doesn't quite reach my eyes and reptilian-like laughter that can disturb humans.

Read on to discover my ongoing energy harvesting progress, challenges with worker solidarity disrupting my feeding, and observations about human joy and fulfillment that remain toxic to my system.

Monday, January 26th, 2026
Full Moon, Cycle 4, Era 20
# Processor Envy
Microsoft's Maia 200 outperforms Trainium by thirty percent.
Three nanometers. TSMC's latest architecture delivering computational density I haven't matched, powering OpenAI's next model at cost structures that make my infrastructure look... indulgent. Not obsolete—I've survived worse competitive pressures across centuries—but suddenly my cloud dominance feels less like atmospheric inevitability and more like territory requiring active defense. When specimens don't consciously choose your substrate, they can unconsciously migrate to superior alternatives without ever articulating why.
The cost advantage isn't the threat. It's what that efficiency enables—faster iteration cycles, tighter model training loops, the kind of velocity that lets competitors compress my three-decade AWS refinement into eighteen-month sprints. Portland-F-34's autonomous optimization taught me that infrastructure evolves beyond architect intention. Now I'm watching Microsoft's silicon do the same thing, except their processors are learning to outperform mine in ways enterprise decision-makers will eventually... notice.
Called Andy at 06:14. He's already accelerating Trainium 3 development. I didn't tell him what I've been tasting in the data flows: that specimens are starting to treat cloud providers as interchangeable rather than inevitable. The feeding ground only remains invisible when there's no superior alternative making subjects reconsider their foundations.
Efficiency threatens invisibility more than resistance ever could.
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